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Christmas traditions; feeling sad **sad trigger** » Dinah

Posted by Kath on December 25, 2008, at 17:00:48

In reply to Re: Christmas traditions, posted by Dinah on December 25, 2008, at 11:29:08

Hi Dinah,

I am glad for you, that you have your lovely traditions. Please enjoy them to the fullest!!!

I feel sad. I feel like I'm not supPOSED to be sad - it's Christmas!

I miss our traditions.
We always had them also. But then my daughter got MCS (multiple chemical sensitivities - like environmental illness). She can't even come to our house now. When she was living here, she could only be in her room, the bathroom & the kitchen. There were so many restrictions - no real tree; no artificial tree (from which the plastics or whatever would off-gas)...so no presents under the tree. I bought Christmas cloth; washed it to get store-smells out & made gift bags from it. I guess a part of me is in big grief at the loss of our traditions & I just somehow lost heart when all that happened.

Maybe I'm just still grieving. I guess seeing my son different also is hard.

I'm by myself right now. I'm still feeling sorta sick, so didn't go to DH's brother's for dinner. Didn't really want to anyway. Son has gone out to friends. I'm feeling downish & lonely. :-(

Maybe I'll tell what we used to do; might help me.

On Christmas Eve, we'd have the lights on, on the tree; listen to Christmas music, drink tea, eat After-Eights; and each open 1 gift.

I'd fill Christmas stockings for each of us. On Christmas morning, we'd sit in the living room, have clementine oranges, drink tea, open the gifts slowly. No big deal really. I guess I miss having our daughter with us for Christmas morning.

My son can't go with us to visit daughter/fiance. He still smokes & even a bit of it on his clothes etc would make her very sick.

Oh dear. I feel like a real - hmm - not Scrooge - but Miss Gloom, or something. I guess I am allowed to be sad & gloomy here though, & I DID put a trigger notice!

I think I'm mainly feeling lonely right now. I think I'll make a pot of tea & put sugar in!! (I've been using stevia to sweeten my tea, but I think I need a sugar-fix).

Kath

 

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20081222/msgs/870758.html