Posted by Kath on July 14, 2008, at 12:53:31
In reply to Re: OK but I said something I feel badly about.... » TexasChic, posted by fayeroe on July 14, 2008, at 9:03:55
WOW Pat - THIS post is getting printed & carried in my purse & read numerous times daily.
It's short, clear, concise & although I'm sure I know that stuff somewhere, I don't know it "up front" enough in my mind.
Thank you VERY much. You're VERY right....I DO feel like I've been tiptoeing for ages. I guess afraid that if I "make him" feel a certain way he'll go off the rails!!! As IF I can MAKE anyone feel anything; and as IF he needs my help to use!
Thank you so much.
love, Kath
> I want you to think about this, Kath...why are you trying to tiptoe around this young man? Hasn't your life been turned upside down, turned around and generally been made miserable by his behavior?
>
> *****I felt badly after the talk, because before he started to talk, I said that I was really doing pretty badly; felt very worn down. At some point - I can't remember when, I said that I really wanted to see him going forward & that it was all very hard for me & that some days I didn't even want to be alive. I now feel TERRIBLE for saying that - his face went - well sorta feeling ashamed or something. I said, "I'm not trying to make you feel guilty; I'm just saying how I feel." but now I feel awful.*****
>
> It is time that he feels ashamed and starts trying to do something about it!
>
> He admitted to you that January through March was a lie....you believed one thing (because you wanted to) and he was doing something else!
>
> Kath, as long as he can see that he has your power he will use it. You may not believe me but that is what addicts do.
>
> At some point we have to detach and first know that we are dealing with an addict. Then the "he's my child" comes next. Addicts don't care about bloodlines. They care about their next fix.
>
> I know that I am not telling you what you want to hear....but if he's old enough to buy and use, he is old enough to support his habits.
>
> As long as they have the parental safety net, why change? xoxoxo pat
poster:Kath
thread:838872
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080702/msgs/839670.html