Posted by Fivefires on February 27, 2008, at 12:42:03
In reply to I'm sorry you're feeling so bad today » Fivefires, posted by Racer on February 21, 2008, at 14:41:30
Hi Racer.
W/ good intentions, I sat down to read the follow-ups to my post this morning.
But, then, my ISP wasn't working and I couldn't get in. So I sat here waiting for it and waiting for the plumber that was supposed to be here 2hrs ago.
Then, I finally got in (online), and up pops an alert from my bank .. an alert of 'insufficient funds'! :(
It seems nothing good is happening around me; everything negative. I've been trying my hardest to keep up w/ a lot of paperwork involving moving, bills (I checked billpay a week ago and I could swear there were none scheduled to be taken from my account, but, somehow there was one.), collecting boxes, tape, labels for packing up for the move, returning calls, just sort of activies of daily living. I've been using every bit of energy I have just to focus on the need I think my children have for me to be here, and, therefore, do what I can of 'a lot of things to do', each day.
A couple days ago a man (sig-other of mo*her) yelled at me and said 'I'm not gonna play your game'. It came out of left field. I still am not sure what happened. :(
They went to Mex for a few days. I'd thought so highly of him until this happened and felt good about him w/ her. Now, I don't want him to come back!
Just got an email from the daughter that usually helps me out when in trouble and she's broke and can't help me w/ my 'insuff funds'! :(
I was actually feeling a bit better this a.m., wanting to get online and talk w/ you all, but then the prior issues pushed me back down.
I'm overwhelmed and it feels like I'm trying to crawl out of hell. I just want to sleep and not think about it.
Yesterday PCP said 'You've never going to get surgery' (c-spine injury) and prescribed an additional narc a day, that will only further my poor cognition. It's that, or lie in pain all day.
The staff won't do the work to find a pain management doc. I've always done it in the past, and will have to continue the search.
I saw my therapist yesterday and she knows how I am feeling, but didn't make any effort to find a place for me to stay.
I think I need to read your post again tomorrow or maybe later today, and respond to your suggestions. They are good ones, and all I've done here is whine away.
I don't think I'll give up; it's not my nature, ... but 'it feels like I'm being pushed in that direction'.
tks4bareing(stillalittlehumor)w/me Racer, 5f
and: Pls don't go away, any of you. Tho' I've been a poor responder, I need you all very much.
poster:Fivefires
thread:813926
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080215/msgs/814969.html