Posted by Fivefires on November 17, 2007, at 15:29:06 [reposted on November 17, 2007, at 19:26:43 | original URL]
I've been ignored or abandoned by at least five family members, friend, doctors and their front office staffs, therapist, and caseworker, all in the past two weeks. I feel unnecessary, invaluable, unloved, and unimportant. I feel like a doormat. I can't, no, I don't want to get out of bed. If I get up and out, I'm afraid they'll knock me down again. There are some I could avoid, but there are more that I love. I can't stay away from what I love. My love is stronger than my intelligence I guess. When did I become everyone's doormat? I truly don't get it!!! I felt the onset of this and asked for help wks ago. Now each day I've gotten worse and today am just consumed in this horrible depression. Wish I could get some help. But, the criteria for getting in a hospital is .. unowhat. I'm not going that route! I could end up becoming what the people above already treat me like, a literal inanimate person in a wheelchair set in the corner and ignored. And, why do I love so much? It doesn't seem to come back to me. Well anyway, this is where I am. Will go back to bed and curl up again. Don't want to bother anyone via phone call or anything. Scared to as they said they're too busy. I knew you wouldn't mind listening to me. I'm so sorry I can't see their ignorance and let it roll off my shoulders and not hurt me.
5f
poster:Fivefires
thread:795623
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20071026/msgs/795623.html