Posted by B2chica on November 17, 2006, at 10:19:08 [reposted on November 18, 2006, at 16:39:11 | original URL]
In reply to Re: just need to talk » B2chica, posted by Lost Soul on November 15, 2006, at 15:33:04
sorry diidn't respond earlier, i don't have frequent access to internet.
for years i had moved away from familly and all the 'bad' stuff. i was in school, lived alone and loved it. could do school and work for all day and only had to 'stress' about upcoming tests.
i got married after graduation and was still living away from family and was 'ok', but started to get some depressive bouts. i then lost my closest friend/co-worker, a year later i lost an old friend to suicide, that same year i was in grad school, working full time (difficulties with boss), and we moved into our first home, a few months later my parents moved to same town and fairly close by. i started going down hill and it just got worse. i think it was during some of these severe bouts that some memories started to come around the corner, it wasn't till i started seeing a therapist that they started to flood out.
it was very difficult even with help.
though our stories aren't the same, i too had 'issues' with 'mother'. and things i can't forgive yet. my T said it's ok, that i need time to be angry. and whether or not i do 'holiday' time with family is up to me, NOT pressures to be a good daughter or wife...etc. for once in my life i need to do what's right for me...not others.
a whore at 10 huh...not bad, i wasn't deemed a whore till i was 13. (don't mean to make lite but...jeez, wtf right)well, one thing for better or worse i can almost guarantee that those bubbles won't disappear, they will just grow. and a good T can Really hellp you with not only bringing them to light but being able to deal with them. when my memories started to flood back a few came incomplete, then i started to get TONS of flashbacks happening at all times some i couldn't quite understand and others were crystal clear but i was new to the T game and couldn't express my pain and ended up in the hospital due to an OD.
i am only telling you that because these 'memories' is a tricky lot and should be handled with care. PLEASE it may take all you have but try to find a T. and check around because many work on sliding scales.
Also, i was on medication and between the two i got better. you may not always need the meds, but i strongly suggest them while you are dealing with these issues.btw i know Lindenblute frequents the psy board and is very helpful.
i'm not sure i was a lot of help, but please know you are NOT alone here. i've been coming here for about 3 years and there have been a few times where it was the people here that kept me afloat. and one time nearly saved my life.
best wishes to you and your children, it won't be an easy road but Please get assistance.
please be kind to yourself during this process.
(((best wishes)))
b2c.(ps, i think you are most certainly NOT a lost soul, or ever will be.)
poster:B2chica
thread:704947
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061106/msgs/704956.html