Posted by TexasChic on November 18, 2006, at 10:02:50
In reply to Re: Sad..go kick some a*s! :), posted by Meri-Tuuli on November 17, 2006, at 12:58:20
I looked at his myspace page again. It looks as if they didn't get together until after the last time I saw him, which makes me feel strangely better. The bad thing I found out is she works in the same suburb I do!!! OMG what if I run into them! I know, I'm obsessing and its stupid, but if I can't obsess here where else can I do it?
The truth is, the more I think about it and the more I look at his myspace page, the more I realize how much of it was fantasy. Like my imagination filled in all the blanks for what I didn't know about him. From the stuff I've read we most likely weren't at all compatible! So why does it still hurt like I was in love? I guess maybe I was in love with the fantasy I had created. I just wish I could separate it my head. Maybe realizing it is a start.
And I've GOT to stop looking at his myspace page! Its just so tempting though! Its like a secret peek into someone's life! You can look and no one will ever know. Its actually a little disturbing that I want to do something like that. What I need is another guy to focus on. No, what I need is to not have to depend on these fantasys and just live in the now. But I have no idea how to do that! But I'm going to try anyway.
I know I need to start by cleaning my apartment. Getting rid of the mess and clutter will definitely help my frame of mind. Plus like I mentioned before, I think its somehow an unconscious way of punishing myself, like I don't deserve better.
I'm going to try. One step at a time.
-T
poster:TexasChic
thread:704410
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061106/msgs/704835.html