Posted by Kath on August 20, 2006, at 19:26:25
In reply to Re: I'm afraid of recovery and losing you all, posted by corafree on August 15, 2006, at 1:11:38
Hi Cora,
Back a week from holiday & just checking in now.
Honey, I think your daughter is right. I know you want it to be alright with your family, but it sounds like they're showed you over & over how they will think & speak & behave.
You asked what to do with the anger.
I'll tell you what has helped me in the past.
There are different things....
- write a letter to each of your family (by hand or on computer). Say EXACTLY what you'd like to say to them if there would be no repercussions. The secret here is that they are never going to see the letter - so you can say exactly what you need to get off your chest & out of your head!! Say whatEVER you need to say now & whatever you wish you could have said ever to them. Next, read it over a few times. Now, put it into an envelope. Seal the envelope. Put their first name on it (in the case with my Dad - who had been dead for years, I was only 'brave' enough to put his initials on the envelope!!!!) OK - now take the envelope to the mailbox, open the box & put the envelope into it!!!!! In my case, I could not believe how this made me feel!!! It felt like I had actually SAID those things to my Dad.
- another thing you can do is go somewhere outside where nobody will see you, hear you or bother you. Choose a tree & let it be whoever you need it to be & tell him/her whatever you need to. Swear, rant - whatever you need to do. This is another great way of actually getting that stuff out of you!!!! It's sort of like lancing a boil to let the poison out.
I think stuff tends to mill around in our minds - things we need to say to people who hurt us in the past or are hurting us now. Often it would serve absolutely no purpose to confront those people - it might even be more harmful to us - but that doesn't mean we don't still need to do it in some form.
I send you biggie fattie hugs, luv Kath
poster:Kath
thread:673800
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060819/msgs/678548.html