Posted by alexandra_k on January 20, 2006, at 22:43:11
In reply to Re: totally understand » alexandra_k, posted by wildcard11 on January 20, 2006, at 19:44:35
> yeah, it helps but it also brings back a sort of....hurt or maybe for awhile that *bad* feeling. that hard to explain feeling...it can make you vulnerable for a minute but helps more in the end. the longer poison stays inside the more damage it causes...
yeah. i've been feeling like the walking wounded the last week or so. just thinking about stuff... talking about it is hard. i guess i've never talked about it. but i post about this stuff. and it helps. because normally i feel really ashamed about it. don't know why. maybe because it never occured to me to do anything. to fight back. to run away even. then i did run away when i was 14. but when i heard that story about my sister i thought that i let her do it for how many years when all i had to do was that... and so maybe it was my fault in a way. but of course i know it wasn't my fault.trying to figure out how to think charitably about my mother. that is hard work. but i think she was hurting a lot. a lot. and i think she was fairly unwell (in the mental health sense) too...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:600796
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060115/msgs/601334.html