Posted by Sonya on July 25, 2005, at 13:50:37
I often feel like a shell of a person; that I’m like a ghost in my own house and with my family.
I hate my job. Friends and family tell me to quit and find something I want to do. I explain that I’m afraid if I quit my job, I’ll still be “sick” but then realize the job wasn’t the cause of it. I can’t throw away a good-paying job. Actually, I don’t think the job is the only cause of my anxiety and depression, but I can’t otherwise pinpoint what the problem is. How do I explain to someone that I just might be this way regardless of my environment, and there’s nothing that can be done about it except keep trying to find the right medication? They tell me my job is killing me, but I don’t know.
Everyone would feel more comfortable being able to blame a certain thing in my life so I can change it and get better, but what if that’s not possible? That would make them powerless to help, and they’d have to acknowledge the fact that I have a chronic mental illness.
I know that no one can save me…I have to save myself but I don’t know how.
I'm so tired of the shrinks, therapists and constant trials of medications. I want off this hellish ride.
poster:Sonya
thread:533248
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050719/msgs/533255.html