Posted by AdaGrace on April 14, 2005, at 18:23:37
In reply to Re: ((((AdaGrace)))), posted by sunny10 on April 14, 2005, at 12:37:11
I haven't been following the boards very closely, but I think you have made some major changes in your life lately.
I envy you.
I'm a chicken sh*t
A scared frightened little girl who is afraid of the dark and all the unknown and all the known.
Afraid of my own shadow.
Afraid of public humiliation.
Afraid of hurting others.
Allowing myself to wither and die for fear of hurting others and my own pride.I'll live.
I'll live but I won't be alive.Sad to think of that actually.
When will it get better?
To get another job involves something more intricate than hurting co-workers, and management.Maybe I'll babblemail you on that one. But suffice it to say others would be directly and seriously affected and my life would never be the same. I should have listened to my mother.
She warned me about working with family.I want to be Alice.
I want to run away, simply run away, dissapear and become a waitress in a greasy spoon somewhere warm. Somewhere where noone knows me. Noone knows my history. Noone knows my past. Make a new start. Forget all my troubles and just drift away. Never to be seen again.
What would people think? What would people say?
Would I miss my kids? Probably. Would I miss my surroundings, well, I'd miss my flowers, my house, my yards....but I wouldn't miss the misserable people in my misserable life.I was called a c the other day. I was called the c and a f'in b. I can't believe I was called that. Guess I am though. Funny how that doesn't really matter to me anymore. I just don't care.
poster:AdaGrace
thread:482346
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050408/msgs/484314.html