Posted by Larry Hoover on November 12, 2004, at 21:10:08
In reply to Looking for advice - Gross warning, posted by Dinah on November 12, 2004, at 17:53:07
I'm so sorry, Di. This is a horrible position you find yourself in. It is not your fault that your parents are neglected.
In law, neglect is "...adequate food, clothing, shelter, psychological care, physical care, medical care, or supervision is not secured for the at-risk adult or is not provided by a caretaker in a timely manner and with the degree of care that a reasonable person in the same situation would exercise...."
I think you may be at the point where legal intervention is required, a conservatorship. Under the direction of the court, you or a trustee could be put in the position of securing adequate care for your father (and your mom, too, as I'm not sure she is getting what she needs). It can be set up in very specific circumstances, so that no undue dissipation of their assets occurs. But really, what did they save all their lives for, if it wasn't to provide comfort in their declining years?
Your dad can't look after himself. Your mom won't. You can't. The caregivers don't come in every day. Something has to change.
I hope you talk to an attorney specializing in elder law. Each state has their own guidelines, so I can't really steer you explicitly. Somebody needs to take over decision-making.
Good luck, hon.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:415167
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041105/msgs/415240.html