Posted by Dinah on August 28, 2004, at 9:14:53
In reply to Re: need to rant, posted by SAW on August 27, 2004, at 2:51:24
I tend to follow Sabrina's method and try to divert my husband and decrease intimacy. I withdraw a bit myself. Direct him towards the gym or to his hobbies or his desire to do useful things around the house. I rarely use ShortE's method of increasing rather than decreasing intimacy while he's stressed out.
I wonder if that has to do with me or with him. On the one hand, it's what I learned to do with my volatile father. I charmed him out of a bad mood or if that wasn't possible I avoided him. I never talked to him about his moods.
But my husband is also as non-introspective as one can be and still have innards. So perhaps I'm responding to his cues.
It's not that I don't talk to him about stuff. If he's worried about something specific and wants to talk about it, I'm always ready to lend an ear and a shoulder. And if *I* want to talk about something in the relationship, I do. I just wait till the iron is very very cold and do it when he's in a relatively good mood.
poster:Dinah
thread:381995
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040820/msgs/383279.html