Posted by karen_kay on June 17, 2004, at 19:23:44
In reply to Re: Admitting to Hurt Feelings » karen_kay, posted by DaisyM on June 17, 2004, at 19:12:13
i think that perhaps some people have a misperception about what people who are going through things look like.... (and please daisy, don't think that i'm not considering your feelings in the least. daisy, if i could, i'd take away your hurt. i just think it's important for you not to lose a very close friend over this, and also to see that people don't always respond appropriately, as much as i wish they did.)
i think that she could have meant that you are very well together. you appear to be on top of things and i think that when most people hear that someone has been abused, they think that the person would automatically appear disheveled or turn to drugs, or alcohol or another form of self medication to cope. (and perhaps i'm very wrong on this so forgive me for assuming) i think that perhaps you could turn this experience into something positive dear. you can learn that not everyone will respond in a good way, but that doesn't mean they still don't care about you and your well being. but, there are some people who will respond in a supportive and caring way and hang onto their words.
i really worry that what i'm saying is hurting you daisy and i really don't want that to happen. i just think that someone's immediate reaction to hearing something like this shouldn't overcast the things they've done in the past and will do in the future dear. some people don't react well to 'bad' news. and some people react very well to it. the problem is figuring out who does react well. and remembering that those who don't react well don't always understand the impact their words have on others.
poster:karen_kay
thread:357436
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040611/msgs/357657.html