Posted by tampagirl70 on June 15, 2004, at 13:56:05
i'm dealing with OCD and depression again and this episode is a carbon copy of what i went through 6 years ago. it started out as guilt, then became depression and now its pure OCD with no end in sight. my obsessions are about my marriage and my life in general. i don't think about these things when i'm feeling "normal" and thats the only thing that helps me find comfort sometimes. my husband doesn't understand how OCD works (not that i totally understand, but he doesn't get it at all) and thinks that if you have a thought, you mean that thought, you want it there. i'm not eating very much, so i'm losing weight and most of my clothes are now big on me. i'm not working out like i used to b/c i don't want to do anything. i want it to rain all the time - i check weather.com all day to see what's going on locally. my nights were relatively calm and peaceful until last night when i got worried that i might not be able to get to sleep and i'd lay awake all night. this meant that i wouldn't get up for work and i'd lose my job, causing another major problem. i don't want to talk to my friends, especially about all of this b/c they don't really understand either. i feel so alone and frustrated. i went off my meds in mid-may and started taking them again june 1st, so i know they haven't fully kicked in. my husband was gone all weekend and i felt pretty good while he was gone. last night was the first night he was back and i thought i'd feel more comfortable and relaxed with him there, but i wasn't. that scares me. can anyone related to this stuff? how do you deal with it? what do i do here?
poster:tampagirl70
thread:356930
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040611/msgs/356930.html