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is it in me?

Posted by karen_kay on April 9, 2004, at 20:14:03

oh dear. i've been thinking. i told my old man 'we don't know eachother.' he laughed. we've been together for over 5 years. i said 'i don't know what you are passionate about' he said 'it makes me angry when people get worked up over things. i'm passionate about things but it's boring to talk aobut.' i said i wanted to talk about it, as i didn't think it was boring. so we talked.

he's not passionate about much. sending orders to other countries. that's about it. i asked him 'what am i passionate about?' he said 'helping people' but let's not talk about that as i don't want to upset you.' i told him that i love his philosophy on life, as he doesn't get depressed, or worked up, or angry. he's laid back. he's wonderful.

i told him i'm missing something. something is missing in my life that i'm just not getting. i'm either working too hard, or thinking too much, or not doing enough. he said i need a hobby. i said if i do volunteer work it would be wonderful, but i run the risk of thinking, 'i'm still not doing enough.'

i told him, 'do you think that you have the potential to do something great. that you are going to be wonderful?' he said, "i think that we all think that. and we all want to do some thing great. but, some of us don't for some reason.'

i said, 'do you honestly think i will be great?
he said, 'i haven't seen what you do in school. i don't know. i don't think so.'

i'm crushed.

my own old man doesn't see it in me. if he, the man that sees me everyday, doesn't see it no one will. i'll leave him one day and prove him wrong. that's my motivation now. now i have motivation. perhaps i won't leave him, but i will prove him wrong. i know we all have it in us, but i will do something great.

so, my question. does everyone have that feeling. that feeling that you will do something great. that feeling in your gut that tells you tht you won't sit behind a computer all day, crunching numbers for the man. but, you'll be out there, making a difference. does everyone have that feeling? that you'll really honestly make a difference. or, am i just naive. i know i am. but, i really have this feeling that i will do something. am i wrong? no way. am i alone though? just typing, sorry...


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poster:karen_kay thread:334656
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