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Re: My new plan

Posted by Dinah on March 11, 2004, at 10:11:55

In reply to Re: About parents » Karen_kay, posted by Dinah on March 11, 2004, at 10:04:53

Each morning I'll make a bet with myself about how many times my mother will call. If I guess correctly, I can treat myself to something (not food, I promise). And I'll set the number high, like eight or ten (higher if that doesn't work) so that I can see each call as a step along the path to my treat.

And since I have some basic understanding of what drives my father, I think I'll make a preemptive strike. I'm guessing he'll have fewer crises if he isn't feeling abandoned. So I'll call, I'll have my cousin call, and I'll round up what acquaintances I can. I'll also look into one of those medic alert thingies so that I don't have to worry as much if he doesn't answer the phone.

I'm afraid I have to accept that I'm not going to be able to draw the boundaries as strictly as I would like. I would just feel too horrible if something happened to my father. I really do love him. I guess work will have to suffer. I'm not sure how that will work out, because I have to keep up my hours at work or I lose my medical reimbursement for my therapist. But I'll work it out somehow. I may be around here less.

But I guess I need to accept my own limitations (in not being able to draw boundaries) as I accept the limitations of others.

 

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