Posted by DeeJay on December 15, 2003, at 16:17:32
In reply to Re: really long post! » DeeJay, posted by Dog on December 15, 2003, at 16:07:49
I know, you are so right. When I talk to sailor man, he knows my current situation. He doesn't think I'm doing anything wrong because all we do is chat. Not like we used to. I truly believe I like it because it's something out of my reach. I know it, in fact. Because, I can guarantee, even if he did live here, and we were together all the time, I'd still feel like I do now.
I forgot to answer the med question. I've only been on Wellby about 2 weeks now. I go back to the doc on Friday, and I'm not sure I want to take the pill anymore...but I know I need something. I just don't know what it is. I tend to get that panicky feeling waaayy too much, especially when I'm in large crowds. I went to get the script refilled, but not sure if I'm going to pick it up. I just don't know yet.
I know what you mean about the harboring fantasies, and maybe I'm in love with that kind of stuff....out of reach challenges that just will NEVER happen, because they aren't real. I just wish these thoughts would go away. All we do is chat....and not very often. He's really busy and I am too, but he's always online, and I am too. Which, does not mean I talk to him all the time. I just feel bad sometimes because both my dad and my oldest brother cheated on their wives, as well as my ex did to me, and I can't stand that people do that to other people....but I don't think me talking to him is cheating. Now, when I think of him in ways that I don't think of my beau now.....that I feel like is cheating. But is it?.....ARghhhhh I don't know. As an outsider.....what do you think?...How do I know that my man doesn't harbor secret thoughts?.....You just never ever know.
That's the fastest typing I've ever done in my life......whew! what a workout!
Deej
poster:DeeJay
thread:288897
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031207/msgs/290156.html