Posted by octopusprime on December 10, 2003, at 21:09:02
In reply to Mad Day, posted by fallsfall on December 10, 2003, at 10:47:44
((fallsfall))
am i the only one around here that does angry? i do angry! i'm angry right now! woo!
ok maybe not woo! but ...
anyway here are the only constructive things i've learned about dealing with anger:
* if somebody does something, and you feel angry as a result of that action, it's best to express your anger to that person as soon as possible (read: as soon as you can do it in a controlled fashion without creating a public scene). especially when dealing with passive-aggressive teenagers and husbands! if you call them on their behaviour before you stew too much, you have a much greater chance of dealing with situations productively.
* if you are too angry to control your outbursts, it's time for a walk. any kind of exercise will do, but ideally it should be vigourous! then address the situation that makes you angry.* aah, my friend the old grudge. there is no good healer for this, only time. writing angry letters that you later burn or otherwise destroy helps. if these are people that you're never going to see again, burning photographs (douse in nail polish remover and light, throw burning picture into coffee can sitting on concrete surface), saying incantations about what specifically ticked you off about that person is very therapeutic. and then you have to let it go. that's the hard part. but you've got a therapist, therapists should be good at that.
* avoid drinking while angry. this makes things worse. way worse. avoid.
* avoid driving under the influence of extreme anger. petty annoyances are ok to drive with (otherwise we wouldn't drive anywhere)
* i have found creative endeavours (journaling, painting, music, etc) can help purge feelings that can't quite be articulated.
i think anger is something that you practice dealing with. my problem is impulse control: i get very angry, raise my voice, and do destructive things. it is challenging to reign in these impulses, but it's not your problem.
it takes practice to articulate your feelings when you feel them, so you can attempt to solve problems early. this is key. if you get there soon enough, maybe in a perfect world we won't have to be angry at all!
ps - while i'm dreaming i'd like that pony
poster:octopusprime
thread:288359
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031207/msgs/288595.html