Posted by Larry Hoover on December 8, 2003, at 9:43:09
In reply to This is a Rant about the Family, posted by Susan J on December 8, 2003, at 9:30:19
> Back when I was a kid, my younger brother was diagnosed as dyslexic. My mom read everything she could on it and took him to extra tutoring classes and stuff to help him. Great.
>
> He was also diagnosed as ADD. Mom again read everything she could on it, set schedules for him, monitored diet, and helped him with school problems. Great.
>
> Brother is going through horrible separation where his wife just left him. He's devastated. The whole family's devastated. Mom reads tons of books, like "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" Great.
>
> I have been suffering from very serious depression, which is a new thing in my family, not dealt with before. I've been nonfunctional at times, suicidal at times, and this past episode has done some lasting damage to my finances and credit rating, as well as my job performance. I've shared this problem with my mom because there was no way I could hide it. Told her about therapy and meds I'm taking and al that.
>
> She doesn't do anything to learn about depression or help me through it. She *is* supportive of me in her own way, and I know she loves me and doesn't want me to be depressed. But she also tells me drugs are unnecessary and docs overprescribe them anyway. She tells me, basically, to get over it. Now that it's been 2 years it's really wearing on her nerves (my words, not hers, I can tell by her exasperation at my *troubles*).
>
> Tell me how to *not* take this personally.
>
> ?
>
> SusanSooz, everybody in a dysfunctional family gets a role...like in a play. The role takes the place of the person inside....that's the simplest way I can say it.
The single most helpful book I ever read in my whole life was by John Bradshaw..."Bradshaw On: The Family"
I hope that link works....there is also a revised version of the above, but I haven't read it.
Your being ignored in your depression is not about you Sooz (and it never was), it's about your role in the family.
Me, I'm the scapegoat. It was always my fault, even when it wasn't my fault....it was just my role. It's hard to figure out, but it is figure-outable.
Hugs,
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:287648
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031207/msgs/287652.html