Posted by john1022 on October 26, 2003, at 17:13:21
Hello,
This is my first post in the babble section. I seem to be having a hard time getting my parents to understand (especially my mom) what I am going through with this depression I am dealing with. She is for the most part VERY supportive, but at times I can sense her frustration in me.
It's almost like she thinks that this is some kind of weakness in my personality and that I should "just get over it". At other times she is very supportive and sympathetic though, more than I could ever ask for and for that I am lucky.
I don't think she has any idea the seriousness of what I am going through and I can't blame her. Two years ago I lived with someone who was depressed and all I remeber thinking is "what's their problem, what is their to be depressed about?" not fully understanding the problem, and for that I am very sorry and very upset at my self for being like that.
I stuck out my job for the first part of my depression, then got on a medication that made me feel much worse and I lost my job. I was really struggling that much that I could not continue with the job.
I am also trying to understand her point of view. I am now homebound living with her and I think she is getting a little frustrated with me around the house. I know I need to get a job soon while I continue to deal with the depression, but it has only been two weeks and I still feel like crap right now and could not possible go out and look for a job at the moment.
Luckily, I had saved up enough money from my last job that I can afford to take some time off at the moment (and she is nice enough to not charge me rent). I am trying not to always be hanging around the house, I am eating better and walking/jogging 3 miles a day and doing everything she wants and thinks is going to "cure" the problem. I mentioned "do you think people that have cancer can just will the cancer away?" and she didn't really respond.
I think she is a little embarrassed for me as I have been an over achiever (just finished master's degree) and have always been a good son, and now this comes out of no where. I think she is having a hard time dealing with it and just acts like it is something I "need to get over". I think she is also a little embarrassed to tell our family members that I am not working or that I have depression. I just don't think she is getting it, although I have tried to explain these feelings. I feel embarrassed as well and can sympathize with her about this part.
Can anyone suggest what I should do? Is there some kind of counseling or something that she could seek to better understand what I am going through?
I am very desperate her as I just want her to understand what I am going through and to not be too worried for me at the same time (although I do think this is serious and both meds I have tried have given me terrible side effects of worse depression and anxiety a few days after taking them). I wish I could say that I am on the road to recovery but it doesn't feel like it at the moment.
I love her very much and she is actually extremely supportive the more I think about it, but I just think she is having a hard time understanding the seriousness of what I am going through. I don't like her having to deal with this as she is too nice and wonderful of a mom to have to deal with this (she is the best and I couldn't ask for anything more, I just want her to understand).
Thank so much
poster:john1022
thread:273701
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031020/msgs/273701.html