Posted by madwand on October 1, 2003, at 17:24:49
In reply to I HURT I HURT I HURT I HURT, posted by KimberlyDi on September 29, 2003, at 9:25:58
Kimberly,
If this helps any, the paradoxical thing about leaving an emotionally abusive relationship is that one still grieves for it. When that happened to me I couldn't understand it -- I was supposed to be happy to be free of it.
Later I realized what was going on. There was a part of me that held onto that picture of what I had *wanted* the relationship to be like, even though I had been thoroughly reminded that that would not happen. Letting go of the relationship made that "real" in a very intense way. So my mourning the loss of the relationship was really my long-delayed mourning of the relationship that never was.
At least that is how it was for me, so I offer it up for what its worth -- I hope it helps a bit (although it might make more sense later when you are away from the first onslaught).
Be kind to yourself.
poster:madwand
thread:264196
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030913/msgs/264782.html