Posted by fallsfall on September 15, 2003, at 22:14:18
In reply to Re: Motivation, posted by Emmaley on September 15, 2003, at 17:02:56
Helping other people, either my friends or people on this board, is really the only thing that makes me feel worthwhile. So, I'd say that it is a selfish motive that hopefully has beneficial results.
I think that I've become comfortable with two unfortunate ideas. The first is that there is a minimum you can to to "continue". I think that I have perfected the art of knowing just what that minimum is (how many days in a row can you wear the same shirt before you get "caught", how many days can I feed my daughter Macaroni and Cheese before she complains that she needs "real" food, how can you keep people out of your house so they don't know that you haven't vacuumed for 6 months, etc.). So, I have found the minimum and I know how to stay right on the edge.
The second idea is whether "continuing" is really worth working for. I'm not suicidal (I have been in the past. I know the difference). But I don't really care if I live. So that isn't very motivating for me. I wish it was.
I'm glad that you have good days where your internal motivation reminds you that it is all worth it. Some day, do some journalling and describe that for yourself. Then maybe on a bad day you could read it, and maybe it would help.
Thanks, Emmaley!
poster:fallsfall
thread:260331
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030913/msgs/260473.html