Posted by wendy b. on June 22, 2003, at 21:15:36
In reply to Agh I can't do it., posted by Dinah on June 20, 2003, at 21:24:10
>Otherwise we'd just start our own Yahoo group and talk to each other.
Which group in particular are you refering to here, Dinah? ASH? You think it's not ok for a group of people to go off psychobabble and do this? I don't understand why others have to feel badly just because you deem it somehow inappropriate.
>... I feel suspicious that they are someone I know. And that's a nasty feeling.This I also do not understand. Things are out of one's control, they're out of your control, they're out of my control. But certainly if they WERE under my control, I would have not allowed A Little Sphynx to get suicidal. Or anyone else on here. But because Sphynx expressed it in a way that was somehow controversial -- and we have indeed seen some awful ways of expressing suicidality on this board -- Sphynx was deemed unworthy of support.
Or because I knew the person and vouched for the seriousness of the intent, I was being... what? I can't even explain or understand why this made you uncomfortable in the way that it seemed to.Some people have indeed changed their names on p-babble. And maybe you could try to imagine why they felt the need. Or in what possible contexts you might forgive such behavior. They seem to be doing it for their own internal, and most likely, very personal reasons.
So: there are groups of people *elsewhere*, TALKING TO EACH OTHER. And not to us! These people are not conducting their interactions based on whether or not it feels good to you or to me, Dinah.
> To speak of private matters in a public setting, in such a way that deliberately excludes others, that I would not do. To be proud of it.... That I do not even understand.Since this seems calculated to make SOMEBODY feel badly, I'll answer for several of us (yeah, how crappy of me to feel the human need for support over this, as my friend gets closer and closer to death, and for me to have the need to discuss this off the board). What I said was: I knew for a fact that Sphynx was actively suicidal, rather than mulling over the idea, as she had been a few days in a row, before she posted the "I've made up my mind" message.
>Posting under different names without being open about it does bother me. A lot.And now everything's ok?
>Forget everything I've said on the subject. No sin in changing your name. Or in speaking to friends in code on the board.
But, you said all of the above only hours ago. I am still feeling sad over Sphynx's difficulties, and then I also have to wrestle with the astonishment and hurt that anyone here would find my way of supporting Sphynx to be suspect.
Why is it ok to take out your own feelings on others, and then just say, oh, never mind?> I have no intention to make anyone feel uncomfortable about their decisions.
I find this difficult to accept in light of all that's been said. And it felt very accusatory toward me and to others who felt we were being put down or maligned for being loyal.
So now *you feel* that our behavior is ok? And it's ok for you to simply retract these statements? It's hard for me to grasp how this can so easily be done without people being hurt (or at least still smarting) - particularly the person who it was all about in the first place, someone in the throes of a very serious depressive episode.
Confused, but not altogether surprised,
Wendy
poster:wendy b.
thread:235653
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030617/msgs/236132.html