Posted by zenhussy on June 10, 2003, at 17:57:11
In reply to damn I'm awake again = ( (nm), posted by zenhussy on June 10, 2003, at 13:52:16
And the point is?
I know we all have different reasons for continuing on in this crappy fight against our diseases but I'm running out of them.
I guess it is too much to ask for to have three consecutive days of feeling okay, sleeping okay and eating okay. Instead I yo yo around with insomnia, inability to eat and mood swings that would frighten anyone.
Pdoc is on month vacation so fine tuning medications isn't an option until sometime in July.
Until then? Wah, whine, grump, moan and cry.
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fallsfall---drinking doesn't help my productivity but I was just in a pissy mood that I have nothing to help alleviate my sudden dark moods that come out of nowhere. Even though I know my meds react poorly with the alcohol I still tried to numb up.I want sleep desperately but am afraid of what my mind will start once I hit the pillow or of the constant waking, even with sleeping pills, every hour. I'd rather have no sleep than interrupted sleep which disturbs me more.
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Dinah---Yes I am stressed about this upcoming trip. More than I thought but I am locked into going and can't back out now. I'm slightly aware that most of the thought processes I've been having last night and today are functions of the disease running wild. I rationally know that I will be okay on this upcoming journey and that if the house burns down while I'm away then what could I have done about it from across the country??!!All really isn't well with the family thus my having to step in and deal. I feel like a first grader trying to fake my way through my uni. exit oral exams. Out of my league. Out of my ability to handle. Just how I feel. Awareness that distortion is happening is there too so I'm not being overrun by this thinking but it is there all the darn time.
_____zenhussy
poster:zenhussy
thread:232829
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030604/msgs/232977.html