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freaking out that i will never be normal

Posted by bookgurl99 on May 12, 2003, at 22:09:05

I have really been freaking out that I will never be 'normal' again.

I've gone from antidepressant to antidepressant. When I switch off for a washout, I lose side effects but I gain immense fear.

My big problem is that SSRIs steal my short-term memory in exchange for low motivation and weight gain.

Now I'm going through zoloft withdrawal and re-trying serzone. I'm not at full dose on Serzone yet, but I don't feel "normal" like I used to, like I haven't felt for a year. My attention span is low, and I feel foggy-minded.

My partner is kind of toughing it out with me, I know she's hoping for me to be the way I was when I met her -- social, focused, talkative, ambitious.

I don't know whether to attribute all this malaise and poor concentration to meds or if this is 'me.' I don't know who's me separated from the meds anymore.

I'm fearful that my brain has been altered, or has naturally changed in some way that I'll never have my full (used to be laser-focused) attention span and sociable personality back.

I just want to be back at my normal self again. Can you ever go through these woods and find your way back to normal?


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poster:bookgurl99 thread:226219
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030506/msgs/226219.html