Posted by lostsailor on April 19, 2003, at 0:04:20
In reply to Pissy, snipey, itchy and scratchy., posted by kara lynne on April 17, 2003, at 20:55:31
Oh, KL...I am so sorry. I know how you feel except i have not been in a relationship (or had, well you know, yet this centaury) "It" even for an agoraphobe like me, to be not that hard to find unless you actually want to see the person for more then a week or so.
This is "sad" coming from a male (based on stupid stereo types) but I am a "prude" and am proud of it. I can still count, remember the names ect of all my lovers except for one during college after partying a bit too much and waking up with her, but a bit too hung over to do more then offer to get some oj for us and give her my phone number. She never called. Lmao...
I think you made the right call with ex. I was not gonna post for a bit after an escapade I started earlier in the week, but wanted to say hi--see Letter from Aurora @ bottom of page.
Ex's suck...try this one as I know you want a family someday: my ex fiancé, who I SWORE to her that I would never leave her son, Mike, if something ever happened to us like his father did. She now uses him as a pawn to reunite us. Sure that will work!?!?!? I love seeing my "son" torn in the middle of all this. I worked in social work for a bit before all this made me go on "sabbatical"--ie, became a hermit. My pdoc is a children's specialist now, but still sees some of his patients that he had before specialization. I am lucky for that as he is great...and had to ask me to remember the developmental pysch classes I took, think about Mike, and pull away as much as it hurts ME. It is in his best interest, though, even though I know he does not really get it yet. Mutual friend's of my ex and I promised to help mike get in touch with me if needed or an emergency and will keep me posted about him. They also promised to get the two of us together once Vanessa grows up or Mike is a bit older (he's gonna be 10 soon). I agree with doc, though, keeping in touch will tear me apart, due to his mom, but really f him up considering he lives with her.
Ever see p-wee's big adventure. The movie pee-wee was in before being in that theater in FL playing with his "pp"??? In the film, he lost his bike and saw everyone else happy with his or her bikes while his was stolen. HE was sad. I can relate to him on that level as I have never outgrown bikes, but also see it as a metaphor for love. I see so many holding hands, flying kites, sitting at the park and, this is always hard, Christmas shopping and/or getting married. God, I am even supposed to go to my best-friends wedding this summer and don’t know if really can…he and I need to talk a bit. How on earth can so many be so happy. It makes me so po’ed…lol—sort of.
Maybe I will love again, maybe not. I have mom, aurora and a few "true" friends. Maybe that will be all. I have been in love once since my ex, it never seemed to work out as she had a jealous ex who could not leave either of us alone. God, how I wish he could have met my ex. they would have fallen in love and she would probably send me Mike just to get away with him and from her son!!!!
Red lights.... why does it take more demonstrated skill to legally drive than bear children.
UUUGGGGGGGG.....back to self-block status.
~tony
poster:lostsailor
thread:220209
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030414/msgs/220526.html