Posted by Ginjoint on February 8, 2003, at 21:56:16
In reply to Please....give me a few words of hope, posted by Emme on February 8, 2003, at 8:11:55
Hey Emme...
Holy mackerel, sweetie, your post really struck home with me. I am going through much of what you described, especially the part about a career and having a child. How do I make it through the worst? Well, I'm still trying. But there's a couple of things that help.
First, I make sure to take my meds -- sounds easy, but I don't have insurance, and the drugs are VERY expensive. So when I run out, I sometimes try to go for a while without them. A bad idea. If you're running into this problem too, see if you can get samples from your pdoc (mine's been terrific about this). Or you can go to www.needymeds.com, find the company that makes your meds, and get into their patient assistance program. If you qualify financially, you can get the meds for free or at a reduced price.
Second, Emme, my pdoc gently suggested to me that each person on Earth is here for a reason. When I'm in the deepest depths, I try to remind myself of this. I know how hokey this sounds, but it's the only thing that has kept me afloat (and alive) for the past several weeks. YOU are here for a reason, Emme. You DO have much to offer, it's just the despair is blocking it from your view right now. The despair is temporary. How you touch and affect others is not, and it's obvious from your post that you have lots of insight. I bet your friends know this as well, and benefit from it. I can honestly say I know your worries about friends not wanting to be around you. You know how I got around this? I was brutally honest with those around me. I 'fessed up about my depression, my struggling, etc. Instead of running in the opposite direction, several people then opened up to me as well, in a big way -- it was as if a wall had been knocked down. Yes, I lost a couple of friends, and man, did that sting. But I know their shallowness will be their downfall. :) Anyway, it's not ideal -- no one is aware of just how bad it's been, and I'm going through a lot alone. But at least those around me haven't run.
I don't know you, but I believe in you.
Ginjoint
poster:Ginjoint
thread:36656
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030208/msgs/36693.html