Posted by Cece on November 17, 2002, at 3:00:18
In reply to To tell or not to tell ...., posted by Jumpy on November 14, 2002, at 21:17:58
My stomach literally turned when I read your account of hospital hypocrisy, as it did when I read the post from the social worker.
On one hand, I work within society's attitudes about mental illness and try to be realistic about what is and isn't possible in terms of disclosure with friends, co-workers, colleagues, bosses, etc. That's just the way it is, I tell myself, and I'm pretty damn careful.
On the other hand, I am not so detached and reasonable. I am screamingly angry, I am aghast and I am dismayed at the ignorance, fear, and judgement that abounds. I am stunned at people's cruelty and lack of compassion.
This summer, my big accomplishment was to wean off benzos. This lifetime, my big accomplishment has been to press on seeking help, believing that life just couldn't truly remain a big black pit forever, to somehow dig courage and hope out of suicidal despair.>
'Not the sorts of things you can put on a resume' I (half) joke.
I have had acquaintances who grew to be friends over months, even years, of knowing. With some of them, I decided the time had come to tell them about my BPII, such a major factor in my life. In my mind I can still see the change in many (actually most) of their faces as it sunk in. The relationships changed and not for the better. There are the few exceptions, and there is my old friend who said to me "I admire your courage, and persistence, and hard work".
This is a hidden disability but not one that most people are sympathetic to. And it is a full time job to juggle doctors, therapists, self-help, medications, etc., but not a paying one (the opposite in fact!).
Cece
This is a very difficult subject. I work in the medical field, and you would think that health care workers would be more knowledgable and understanding about mental illness. But I know two individuals that were open about their depression, and I often heard comments like, "Here comes prozac head" or "I hope she took her medications today" from other DOCTORS and NURSES behind there backs. At that point I decided I would never disclose my depression. I am currently going for ECT and am still trying to think of am excuse before I return to work .... maybe minor surgery or pneumonia. Unforunately, the stigma is still there and very strong. Although, alway making excuses to go to see my pdoc or pick up my meds is a HUGE burden too! It is like leading a second secret life.
>
> Here is a article about disclosure .... http://www.mdsg.org/newsletter.September2002.html#Disclose
>
> Jumpy
poster:Cece
thread:24808
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021106/msgs/32404.html