Posted by Gabbi on July 16, 2002, at 2:39:32
In reply to death accomplishment (an unfinished poem), posted by alii on July 16, 2002, at 0:52:48
Alli, I've been down that road so many times, that I know there isn't really much anyone can say to take that feeling away.
As much as I make stupid jokes about mangos, almost every day for the past two years I've had to make a conscious decision to choose to live, other times I curse that I can't just will my heart to fail.
I'm thinking of you tonight, caught in that other dimension of fear and isolation, willing you to wait it through, it does end.
But of course I write that very thing to myself in my journal every time I feel a bit better. When I crash again, I never believe it! I think this time its REAL it is my LIFE not the damned depression. But it is.To loosely quote another hell and back and back again person...
Bad things might really be happening, just cause your depressed doesn't mean your life isn't a mess!
What the depression deprives you of is the ability to see that its not forever, and it produces a sense of hopelessness, and helplessniss.
Of course you can know possibilities exist, but it doesn't change the emotion (not for me anyhow)I hope I haven't said too much, particularly because I don't know your situation, which may not be anything like mine.
I'll stop now partly because I'm getting way to melodramatic ick!!!!And because the real message is that I'll be thinking of you and I know anyone else who sees your message will be too. I hope you have some peace tomorrow.
Please check in and let us at leat know how you are doing, Take care
Gabbi
poster:Gabbi
thread:26509
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020714/msgs/26518.html