Posted by wendy b. on May 29, 2002, at 23:31:36
In reply to Re: Are you doing OK, angel1? Let us know., posted by angel1 on May 29, 2002, at 21:19:20
Angel,
I have been reading this thread with interest. I understand your very valid need to have a child within a certain time-frame. There is no answer to that question - either you meet someone soon and have some time before you have a baby, or it takes a little longer to meet the right guy, and you just have to roll with it... Just know there is no perfect time to have a baby. And a bad relationship maintained because you want to have a baby is no relationship at all...
As for the ring, I know I'm going to be unpopular with the opinion I express, but I'm gonna express it anyway. :-] ! At both of my jobs, I am SURROUNDED by women who have diamond engagement rings, diamond wedding bands, diamond anniversary rings with stones all around the band, diamond 'commitment' rings, diamond necklaces, diamond watches... You get my drift. And I wonder how I got through life without ONE single guy ever offering me a piece of jewelery like that. And I've been with a lot of guys, married once, you know, around the block... WHO are these people? Where is the guy who's going to buy me a $7,000 ring like my girfriend's? Or the 2-ct. rock another friend has? I mean, I never thought I'd say any of this... I know it doesn't 'mean' anything, it isn't a guarantee of anything. But hell, it sure would be nice! I mean, let 'em ask me, and maybe I'll turn it down, but would someone please ask me anyway?
I'm going nuts...
I know the 'practical' thing would be to say, let's spend the money on a house, or on our child's education, or put it into an IRA or a 401K. But sometimes practicality is vastly overrated...
Angel, I hope you get the things you wish for, don't settle for less than you deserve, ok?
Wendy> thank you everyone for your insightful responses.
> I learned a little from each and every one of your
> replies. I suppose I over-reacted and their is a valid reason.(at least in my hot-headed mind).
> I am in my late 30's and desperately want to have a baby, so there is a time frame I need to stick to. That is my big worry. No, I would not have a child alone.....that is out of the question for me. Back to the ring thing. One of you mentioned being surrounded by big rings, well same
> here. I guess that is what I am comparing the ring I want to. Then someone said we could pick out a ring now and upgrade later. Good point.
> We are doing O.k. We are still talking and perhaps I should keep trying, but he is not a good
> communicator. He will not open up about intimate
> things. He was married once before and I asked him why he divorced and all he says is "I don't know" when ya know damn well he's the only one that knows. Anyway, I could go on forever.
> My celexa and desipramine combo are keeping my head above water. I'm impressed with this so far.
> Any other words of wisdom are encouraged. Thank you all again. It's so refreshing to hear a different perspective!
poster:wendy b.
thread:24739
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020523/msgs/24865.html