Posted by Dr. Bob on May 6, 2002, at 5:21:30
In reply to Re: Ugly.. « LiLAngelJenna, posted by Dr. Bob on May 5, 2002, at 15:58:37
[Posted by ST on May 5, 2002, at 20:00:33
In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020503/msgs/105159.html]
> > have you found ugliness a problem in relationships yourself ?
>
> Omega,
>
> How so? Like how I view other's looks? How I feel about my looks? Or how others view my looks?
>
> While I was in school and still insecure about my looks, I dated a 5'2", balding man. So that you can get an idea of how I look, since attractiveness and our relationship to it is the subject: I am almost 6', slender, dark hair, dark eyes. Most of my life was spent calling myself ugly. I work out, wear makeup and have been described - lookswise - as everthing from striking, pretty, attractive on down to homely! If you ever watch "6 Feet Under", I've been told I remind people of Rachel Griffiths. I'm definitely not a dead ringer for her, but I guess my personality and looks together just remind people of her. So, that out of the way, this boyfriend constantly compared me to other women and verbally wished I looked more like certain women we went to school with. He was a ball of depression/insecurity/unresolved issues. He psychologically tortured me about my physical appearance and my lack of physical perfection. He, himself, felt he was very ugly (and by most standards, he is NOT too attractive) and so took it out on me. He was the prime example of the famous Groucho (and much later, Woody Allen) comment: "Why would I want to join any club that would have me as a member?" So, yes, looks played a huge part in our relationship.
>
> Basically, I've always dated a smorgasbord of men with so many different looks. Tall, handsome men...goofy looking men....overweight men, skinny men. I have never been moved sexually or romantically by one standard of looks in men. I find humor, intelligence, passion and talent to be the driving forces that attract me to people.
>
> I can honestly say that I don't find people to be physically "ugly". This is the word that we keep using in this thread, but I have a hard time with it. No one is truly ugly to me. Their personality may make them such....that boyfriend of mine really was ugly. But not because of the way he looked.
>
> Sarah
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:23138
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020430/msgs/23166.html