Posted by Manda on April 26, 2002, at 21:45:01
In reply to Re: ME TOO » Manda, posted by IsoM on April 26, 2002, at 20:09:56
I just can't handle the pain anymore. It hurts so badly, and I just have to make it stop. It's not going to get better. I know that I'm going to be like this for the rest of my life- an emotionally unstable burden for everyone I know. Everyone keeps telling me to hang on b/c they will find some medicine that will help me, but I can't hang on any longer. It's not even about school so much anymore. I don't care that I won't be able to write those papers. I've always been able to picture myself in my next step of life (even if it was completely wrong), but I honestly cannot see myself anywhere but where I am right now. I don't think I'm ever going to graduate, or even live to see this summer. I'm just not strong enough. I wish I were... I wish that I could get through this so that I could help other people like me. Sadly, I am too weak even to pull myself through. On the other hand, I won't be able to do anything tonight. Apparently, I have also gotten myself sick, so I couldn't keep any amount of alcohol or drugs down me right now. I'm supposed to be sleeping right now- I took 10 mg of Ambien (twice as much as usual), but I only slept for 3 hours. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't get anything done b/c I can't concentrate, I can't smile, I can't be happy- what's the point in being alive???
-Manda
poster:Manda
thread:22664
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020422/msgs/22695.html