Posted by kid_A on February 1, 2002, at 14:06:03
In my ever expanding quest to somehow provide entertainment and (perchance, if only!) true love to the readers of PSB I've collected a random sampling of personal ads from the Orlando Weekly birdcage liner... no wait scratch that, I meant NEWSPAPER... For your pleasure and enjoyment... Am I being redundant? Can you be pleased at something unenjoyable... Perhaps when a brick falls on someone you don't like... without miring ourselves in too much semantics, lets just procede with the personals... Plus points are given for craftiness, honesty, or just plain sheer DESPERATION.... Ready? Here we go:==WOMEN SEEKING MEN==
a)HONEST GIRL - Fun-loving, outgoing, scincere blond SWF, 35, enjoys the outdoors and watching the sunset. Seeking honest caring SM, 30 to 40, for friendship first, possible LTR.*** Editors note: outgoing? is there any personal ad that ISNT outgoing? who wants to put that they are lethargic in their personal ad!?!?? come on people...
b)SOFISTICATED ITALIAN - Romantic, affectionate, charming, sincere (ed: whoo lotsa sincerity going around), honest SWF 44 5'6 100lbs, dark hair/eyes N/S N/D (ed: i have NO idea what that stands for), seeks handosme, romantic sophisticated drug free, SWM 50-58 for LTR (ed: well f**k me running, on all counts thats my out...)
c)CARPE DIEM... Adventurous, blue-eyed blonde, tan, shapely, pretty (ed: who would say they were ugly!!?), happy, creative, energetic, ...still turning heads at 53! I enjoy hiking, SCUBA diivng, rollerball, tennis, golf. Seeking SM for friendship first.
==MEN SEEKING WOMEN==
a)JUST A REGULAR GUY - Single white male, 31, coledge-educated, non-smoker, in search of an interesting lady, 18-35, for relationship. I enjoy movies, concerts, and just hanging out.Ed note: this guy should have titled his ad JOHN DOE
b)LONELY TEDDY BEAR - DWM 33, 5'8", N/S (ed: wtf? ohh.... must be non smoker/ N/D = non drug... wow, you can learn a lot from reading personal ads!), dark blond/blue, likes snuggling, (ed: awwwwwh), photography, stock car racing, football, In search of S/DWF, 30-45 with same interests.
c)ISLAND PRINCE - Loving, humorous, intelligent, easygoing Jamaican, 47, smoker (ed: yeah! we know what you're smokin' Jah Rastafari!), seeks attractive, intelligent, easygoing (ed: sorry, me again, who in the world would seek someone stupid uptight and ugly!!!??), down-to-earth SF 36-46 for LTR.
...
...Okay, I'm sorry to all that I skipped the alternative lifestyle sections, I'm at work and my wrists are funking into a serious case of carpal tunnel syndrome and I just don't wanna write anymore... feel free to add your own if you want... In stead, I suggest just imagining that the person is lookiing for someone of the similar sex, these ads are all pretty much the same anyways...
Enjoy! And have a sexy day!
poster:kid_A
thread:17672
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020125/msgs/17672.html