Posted by Cecilia on December 6, 2001, at 3:16:04
In reply to What keeps you here????, posted by tina on December 5, 2001, at 21:21:11
Mostly Fear. Irrational fear of a horrible afterlife in which I am being judged and shamed by God and/or my dead relatives. Rational fear of blowing it and ending up brain-damaged in a nursing home. Plus the older I get the more deep down aware I become that I don`t have to kill myself to die, sooner or later death is guaranteed. Of course you know this intellectually when you`re young, but emotionally it used to feel like a choice. I guess I must have really "gotten" this when I was 44 and destroyed thirty years worth of journals because for some reason I finally grasped that even if I didn`t kill myself I could drop dead any day and I sure didn`t want anyone reading my journals! Cecilia
poster:Cecilia
thread:15014
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011130/msgs/15046.html