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Re: One more thing about Depakote-Sar » Krazy Kat

Posted by sar on August 31, 2001, at 0:26:05

In reply to Re: One more thing about Depakote-Sar, posted by Krazy Kat on August 29, 2001, at 10:59:01

my dear Krazy Kat,

i understand what you mean about the diagnosis business. i've got about 7 lables pinned on me, but the only one i truly agree with is depression--but i'm also drawn to impulsive spending, drinking, drug use, sex--then i think, maybe i'm just not *displined* enough. i mean, everyone likes those things, right? i just need to control myself, but i never can.

i do have little faith in diagnoses now. i'll tell you mine: depression, generalized anxiety, social anxiety, histrionic, borderline, bipolar II. does that even sound *possible*? je ne sais pas. i know it's more about treating the symptoms--my impulsivity has been fun but dangerous, i've scarred myself up from running drunk, lost my wallet, caused a car accident, woken up saying "what happened last night?"--ahhh, perhaps this is good material for a soap opera or trashy young-adult novels. but it's all taking a toll on me--i'm broke and in alot of legal trouble.

my fucking psych (excusex-moi) is the highest-paid big-cheese in the city, and he cancelled our appt today--i've been rescheduled for 2 weeks from now. this doesn't seem fair to me. cuz it was raining hard he couldn't make it to the office?! anyway--my latest claim to my parents is that depakote will be my salvation, 'cos yr not supposed to drink on it (and added to prozac and klonopin, i think i'd be knocked the fuggout after a few drinks).

i'm concerned about the cognitive effects of depakote. prozac and klonopin have made me much warmer and jollier, but my cognition (memory, spelling, reading ability) have been sliding down a slippery slope. i misspell the simplest of words often, my typing is slowed by at least 25%--but hey chick, i'm still alive--what a fuckin trade-off.

i hope you are doin well, ya krazy kat.

love,
sar


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