Posted by Adam on July 12, 2001, at 18:54:11
In reply to speaking of love..., posted by paula on July 12, 2001, at 0:38:38
I think love can blossom in the presence of and even survive depression. From my experience though, I don't think it is easy in the absence of education about and awareness of the disease.
Love relationships are a source of solace for everyone, but this solace has its limits. It should. A good relationship between two people, I am convinced, can only flourish if the members of the pair have a degree of self-sufficiency. As soon as the relationship becomes, in the mind of the depressed person(s), a remedy for the depression, problems will arise. It's treading that fine line of interdepndancy and codependancy that I think is the greatest challenge, even among the "healthy", and perhaps a greater risk for those who are depressed.
So I guess, again, the best thing is to seek love at all times, and be as aware of and open about the illness with you partner as is appropriate for you level of intimacy. Keep the proper focus on the legitimate cures for depression, good medications and therapy, and the energy you put into the relationship will be well directed and well spent.
> Hi All,
>
> I'm wondering how it's possible that so many depressed people manage to have romantic relationships at all. One of the things that I've *felt* like my recent diagnosis has explained is the fact that I simply can't trust anyone enough to get involved. I mean *at all.* It also takes me a while to make friends--but the few friends I do have are very close.
>
> I guess I'm just curious about how "wierd" I am. In some ways I think I've handled my issues quite well in the last 20 (of my 30) years. But my, um, "love" life is a glaring exception. Does this have any resonance for anyone else? And for those who are in relationships (of any stripe), do you find that the relationship helps with the depression? It's always seemed to me like too much of a risk, but maybe I'm mistaken. (Wouldn't be the first time!!)
>
> Paula
poster:Adam
thread:7325
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010706/msgs/7353.html