Posted by paula on July 12, 2001, at 16:20:07
In reply to Re: Love is possible with depression-everyone, posted by Roo on July 12, 2001, at 8:26:33
> Paula--yes, I resonate, very much. Been thinking
> about the same stuff a lot lately, and despairing
> about it.
< snip >
> My heart aches thinking maybe I can't have a relationship
> b/c of my depression. I used to worry that I was
> unlovable b/c of my depression. Now I worry that
> it renders me incapable of lifetime love.Hi Roo,
I'm sorry to hear that you've been despairing a lot about this lately. Maybe you can take hope in the fact that you still *want* to connect to someone. I sometimes worry about myself that I don't despair enough about the, er, problem. It just ain't natural! I think what happened is that I subconsciously made the decision as a teenager to preemptively remove myself from "the game." Assuming that love was not for me (or rather that I wasn't worthy so why bother, etc.) made things much easier. Of course, I was also cultivating a masochistic stoicism with a good dose of imagined martyrdom and perfectionism at the time. I feel a long-delayed teenage rebellion coming on.... Bring on the hedonism!!
Paula
poster:paula
thread:7325
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010706/msgs/7346.html