Posted by Glenn Fagelson on June 16, 2001, at 23:50:20
In reply to Not sure of the subject, posted by kiddo on June 16, 2001, at 3:11:30
> I know I'm going to regret writing this as soon as I hit the submit button, but at this point I don't care, that always comes later.
>
> I feel like I'm going to freak out any minute and wish Dr. Bob had put a chat room on here too. I could use another human bean (as my daughter says) to talk to.
>
> I've been having a lot of flashbacks lately, opened up waaaayyyy to much to about my past to my martial arts instructor (freaking out in class, so I had to tell him something) my dad's birthday is coming up this week, and I miss him... I've been a hair's length away from having a panic attack all day and have to wonder how much more I can take. I haven't had the urge to hurt myself for a really long time, and don't want to go back to that again, so I'm hoping that posting here will help.
>
> Has anyone ever felt like they are fighting a losing battle? If so, what keeps you going?
>
> My pdoc changed my Zoloft to Geodon, and I couldn't tolerate it for whatever reason, now I'm taking nothing and my moods are about to kill me if my family doesn't do it first. I don't even want to talk to my shrink right now, I'm really pissed off at him (sorry Dr. Bob-hope that doesn't count against me) because I can be I guess because I can't find a valid reason.
>
> I'm SICK to death of feeling this way, how many years does a person have to deal with this kind of stuff before it ends? I can't TAKE anymore. I feel like chucking this pc out the window, and I don't know why. I can't understand it, and I'm sick high heaven of taking meds. Sheesh, I feel like an addict sometimes, the downside is that nothing I take is addictive!!!
>
> Please somebody just say something to keep me from becoming a basket case again. I real close to the psych ward, and THAT would make me suicidal... I couldn't live through that again.
>
> Thanks for listening and sorry for rambling,
>
> KiddoDear Kiddo,
I am sorry to hear that you are in such a struggle right now. How long has the battle been
going on?? Months?? Years?? I have suffered with clinical depression for decades.
There have been times when I have wanted to end
it all. So,.....what keeps me going when things
seem hopeless? That's a hard question? The first thing that enters my mind is that
there are some very loving people in this world
who really want to help other people. Also, I try to
realize that there are a lot of people who love me very much. When I think of those things, I
begin to get some hope, but the pain is still
there. Community for me is very, very important, at least for right now. I know that it is no
paradise going into the hospital, but sometimes
it is just necessary. The positive things about the hospital are this: It is a safe environment;
your psychiatrist can regulate your meds; and
you would get emotional support for your pain.
I feel for you; panic attacks are no picnic!
I hope you do not hurt yourself; I hope that you
get the support that you need.Take care, Glenn
poster:Glenn Fagelson
thread:6464
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010611/msgs/6480.html