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Re: Suicidal Feelings

Posted by Noa on November 22, 2000, at 12:56:18

In reply to Re: Suicide Web Site » Dasypodidae , posted by shar on November 22, 2000, at 7:56:23

Where do I start--these last few posts are about so much. I'll start here with one topic, and post about others in another post.

Unrelenting suicidal feelings are oppressive. An oppressive life. Maybe I am wrong, but I have to think that it is worth continuing the search for a better med combo to ease this opression.

I guess at this point, I don't expect myself to never experience any suicidal thoughts or feelings, but I do expect to have periods without them, in fact I expect to have most days of my life without them. Sure, when I think about it, they are in there, deep down and can be brought up sometimes. I am not "rid" of them. But I think you all deserve to live life without them on the surface all the time.

I know you have each worked very hard to try to find the right combo of meds and have worked hard in therapy, too. So, encouraging you to keep the search up is not meant to imply that you haven't been searching.

Last year, I never would have believed it possible to be free of that oppression. But here I am--not "rid" of the suicidal thoughts put away somewhere, quieted somehow, but I am free of the oppression of not being able to tolerate myself each waking moment I live.

If your pdoc is weary, it is time to consult a consultant for new ideas you and your pdoc can try.


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