Posted by workinprogress on November 7, 2010, at 1:55:07
In reply to Foot in mouth - Funny (but not) therapy story, posted by Dinah on November 6, 2010, at 8:15:35
Oh Dinah.... I agree with Solstice... you are so good at making a "mistake" look ok/looking on the bright side. I so admire that in you- given my tendency (that I'm working on) to see things in black and white and assume the worst, particularly when it comes to what my therapist is thinking/feeling about ME!
Anyway, I know from what you've written before that you do KNOW that he likes/cares about you and certainly didn't really mean what he said. But wow... holy sting!!! I think you're right about the time thing. I bet for a time you'll think of it and wonder and have to remind yourself of what you know of your relationship and your experience with him overall... that "good enough" thing. He is after all... as he's proven, quite human. And that includes foot in mouth. But overall, with time, this will fade away and hopefully you'll still be left with knowing your relationship is safe. It's too bad he does this and rocks it every once in a while though (because otherwise he seems so good).
I certainly don't have anything to add, just hang in there and keep taking it in stride like you are.
WIP
> Or at least I'm trying to see it as funny. Truth be told my feelings are still more than a bit hurt.
>
> My therapist started getting drowsy again. I snapped my fingers at him, and he apologized and got up to walk around a bit. He claimed that he was just sleepy from a late night, but I reminded him that he had previously told me that my voice was ummm.... "soothing".
>
> We had been discussing my lack of confidence, amounting to self hatred almost, in social situations. Coupled with a fair amount of self confidence in other areas. I told him, joking, that despite my therapist's falling asleep on me, I thought that if people got to know me well enough, that they would discover that I was interesting enough.
>
> He started musing, and said that yes he was sleepy, but that he didn't have this problem with all his clients. That he might be sleepy on a given day but think that he was in a good place, and have no trouble with his 8:00 or 9:00 appointment, but when it came to my appointment, he'd get sleepy. He swore it had nothing to do with the topic of the conversation. That there was something about the pitch and pacing (ie flatness) of my voice that would make me ideal for preparing a self hypnosis tape. He said that sometimes he thinks "Oh noooo. Please don't start *talking*." Or possibly it was "Oh noooo. She's going to start *talking*."
>
> Now mind you, he'd said a lot of this before. And it didn't really hurt. But there was something about that last sentence that did hurt. "Please don't start talking" from your therapist...
>
> When he saw I was upset, he was really upset himself. He said that he was exaggerating, that it wasn't my responsibility at all, that it was probably because he felt so comfortable with me that his sleepiness came out. He spent the rest of the session asking me if I was ok, and how we could repair this and put it in the past. My only suggestion was time.
>
> I'm trying really hard to see the humor in this. I think that's what would help me best. Really it *is* funny. My therapist telling me he dreads hearing my voice in the midst of a discussion about my social anxiety.
>
> Does my therapist have the foot in mouth championship ring? Does anyone else have a therapist who is a contender?
>
> (In context, it seems unlikely that he said this to get me to change my voice because he thought it might help my social anxiety. I'm not sure that it would help me to think of it that way. I can't really change my voice. I've tried when he first told me about my voice, and I just can't. I also can't do proper accents or voice impersonations. He told me at that time that he wasn't asking me to change my voice.)
poster:workinprogress
thread:968763
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101023/msgs/968900.html