Posted by rskontos on February 13, 2009, at 22:22:51
In reply to Re: Apparently I am hard to get.. (triggery + long, posted by Phillipa on February 13, 2009, at 21:33:44
Well, today I said something. I did not plan it, the moment happened and I just said hey.............and we talked about it. It went ok. It did help me learn that a) she and I can get along but will never be friends. that is ok. b) I will only stay there until I can find something else which is ok too. I have other plans anyway.
c. there is something else going on with her, a need to have the focus on her.
that is ok too. I don't need the focus. It will be ok to let her run the show if that is what she wants. She did say she has bad days. I said I would try to be open to her bad days. I think I shocked her but the rest of the day she was actually quite friendly. I said I would try to temper myself but when I get nervous or feel uncomfortable sometimes I will get talkative to try to make myself feel better and I do not know what is going on. (like her bad days and mood swings) ( No one told me she has these bad days or mood swings.) That was when she said she has had more bad days lately. But she got a supplement that was helping her sleep better and she feels better now.
That was all that was said and the conversation ended. It shed more light on the subject. I am ok with all now that I think I understand her better and it is within herself, and I was just in the way. Something she couldn't control (a new situation being me being hired I guess). I will let her have all the glory in whatever way she can get it or thinks she can. It really doesn't matter to me.
This is not where I want to be in 2-3 years although my super said there was room for growth. I am not sure it is the path I want. But that is ok. I can see.
Thanks all for your support. Now hopefully I can get a grip on myself and stop dissociating, which I did only twice today. Which is way down.
And if I don't, then I will make the decision to leave and find something else it possible. I don't want to stress myself anymore than necessary.
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:879687
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090129/msgs/880019.html