Posted by B2chica on November 21, 2008, at 8:32:39
i'm struggling alot today. i saw T yesterday and the session itself was good. Except that we talked about a mutual aquaintance who's wife killed herself a few years ago. i never knew the details and my t brought it up. (mostly because i share similar philosopies as her)
we were talking about my suicidality and how i view it sometimes.
the woman we talked about choose a method that is stuck in my brain and i can't now get it out.i don't want to tell T that cuz i don't want her to feel she needs to tiptoe around my depressive issues..i NEED her to be able to talk to me like this.
But it's one of those things like when you see a car accident happen in front of you, it sort of haunts your mind for a few days.
well, thats' whats happening for me now.i'm not only getting visuals of the method, but i can't help but think...that could be me. i feel all this horrible sorrow inside my heart as if i've done this act myself.
and i never even knew his wife.
**************
i just really needed to talk about this with someone.
poster:B2chica
thread:864389
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/864389.html