Posted by TF on December 14, 2007, at 13:39:58
In reply to Re: Umm, stuff that I'm ashamed of. » TF, posted by Dory on December 14, 2007, at 12:34:36
> i guess i was just wondering aloud what exactly you'd like to see happen.. ? i am thinking you are saying that you'd like someone to say "yes you smell" so that you can tell your pdoc he is wrong.. yes?
>Yeah, that's right. I'm really just after some evidence. I don't know what would suffice for him, as reactions that I've gotten from people don't seem like enough. He just classifies them as circumstantial.
> can i ask why you went to a pdoc?
>
I had a breakdown a couple years ago because of all this. Ended up in the hospital, and they set me up in this center that tries to help people with mental disorders.I do have a mental disorder. I've become paranoid and anxious and depressed because of all of this. They tell me that the 'this' exists because I'm paranoid.
> i wish i knew what to say that would help. It's obvious you are really struggling with this and are very frustrated. i suppose it's kind of like a mild paranoia that could actually be true.
>
> can i ask why it matters so much? i'm not an idiot, i mean, i can see why certain behaviours would sting.. but i know people who smell bad, or who have some other thing that makes them a target of stuff like that sometimes... i don't feel any different toward them, do your friends and family act differently towards you than you think they might otherwise? Strangers will always be a random mix of the nice and the not so nice. i've had people make rude comments to me.
>It's just that my ego can't take being smelly. I don't want people to think that I'm not hygenic, or a slob, or an idiot, or unnattractive. And this whole thing, the signs people give me, such as the rolling down of the windows in my car, incessant sniffing whenever I'm present, or people complaining that they can't concentrate, or are nauseated. And that no one will confirm my belief when I talk to them about it. It all makes me kind of misanthropic. It just makes me hate people in general.
> i'm not saying it's not a big deal, it clearly is to you.. and if it's how you feel then it's a big deal. i'm just not sure exactly how that fits into your world..socially i mean, among your family and friends.
>
Well, I have no friends, outside of the interweb. And my family doesn't seem to mind. But I do. I just refuse to present myself this way.> you said that our own odor doesn't smell so strong to us.. but do you smell *anything*? i know when i don't smell so great.
>
Not really, when I've showered and stuff. And I can detect my odor after not having showered for a while. That's where I run into problems mentally I guess.
> why do you think a doctor would not tell you if you actually had an odor problem? what would be their reasoning?
>
In terms of the pdoc, there's really nothing he can do for me other than try and make me disbelieve it. The real doctor told me that I don't smell only after I said I have normal bathing habits. She didn't know what, other than poor hygeine, could cause a smell.Maybe I'll see a holistic healer or something. I have a feeling that all these 'legit' doctors have a conspiracy going.
My caretakers called me this week. I returned their calls, but if they try and get in touch with me again I think I'll just let it ring. With the exception of getting me into some classes, they're really not helping me.
poster:TF
thread:800487
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071204/msgs/800787.html