Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on January 15, 2007, at 15:36:35
In reply to Re: Random Neurotic Thoughts... » Llurpsie_Noodle, posted by Daisym on January 15, 2007, at 11:51:19
Thanks so much Daisy,
You remembered a lot about my earlier posts. Thanks so much for your thoughtfulness. I have a voice inside that sounds like you, but stupider. I don't have the experience or the information you have, but I know where that sensible/practical voice is coming from.Now I've just got to listen. I'm gonna suck it up and pop a klonopin now. I feel like crap, and it's only been getting worse. I have (succesfully?/unsuccessfully?) proven to myself that my "healthy" coping mechanisms are still weak and underdeveloped to withstand more than a few moments of this corporal anxiety.
Today is a day of tolerance and of non-violent protest. Perhaps I need to engage in more of that. I need to write up a list of stuff to work on in therapy now that I'm not in acute crisis mode. This list may include such topics as:
LlurpsieNoodle the softie diplomat: how can I recognize that I've fallen into the role of conflict mediator rather than the role of arguing artfully in what I believe in?
LlurpsieNoodle the terrified: how can I engage fully in life when certain situations create intense terror?
LlurpsieNoodle the fearless: how can I recognize that a feeling of immunity and fearlessness is often superimposed over a state of dissociation/disorientation/depersonalization? How can I learn to distinguish between healthy confidence and maladaptive risk-seeking?
LlurpsieNoodle the non-doer: How can I learn to tackle the tasks which do not appeal to me, or the tasks that are tedious or aversive? How can I gain self-confidence through actually doing What I need to do, When I need to do it?
LlurpsieNoodle the non-person: How can I learn to understand that I am entitled to feel [insert negative emotion] AT someone? How can I stop giving other people excuses to treat me poorly, while internalizing all my frustration and anger?
LlupsieNoodle the helper: Why do I feel like a better person when I help others than when I help myself?
LlurpsieNoodle the noodle: What are the barriers towards me choosing to live a more healthful lifestyle? How can I learn to have better exercise and dietary habits?
sincerely,
LlurpsieNoodle the going-to-get-a-BZD-now.
poster:Llurpsie_Noodle
thread:722499
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070103/msgs/722580.html