Posted by Shortelise on November 28, 2006, at 21:04:59
In reply to Re: Unexpectedly Having to Face T's Mortality....?'s, posted by RN320 on November 28, 2006, at 17:49:10
I'm really glad to hear your T is doing better, /m. I'm sorry to hear you're having such a bad time dealing with it.
/m, I'd like to find something to say to help you a little - do you mind if I try? I know you didn't ask for it, but I'd feel even worse if I didn't send you some ideas.
He isn't gone so you don't need to mourn him.
Be nice to yourself, try to do whatever if it you need to do to keep yourself well and strong. In moments like the one you're experiencing, I sometimes try to think of myself as someone else I have to take care of. That might be completely whacky, but it works. I tell myself, I need to make sure I eat, that I get my walk, that I sit in front of my lamp, that I be kind to myself and not listen to those inner voices that can really upset me. I try to think of myself as someone I need to care for.
If my T were in the same situation, and believe me, I am having no trouble imagining it wich is why I am so drawn to write to you, I would hope I would be taking very good care of myself, that I would be able to write him a note saying I was ok and looking forward to seeing him again.
At times I have to literally hold myself, and reassure myself; talk to myself as though I were talking to a child. I so need to believe I have the strength, that I've learned enough in therapy enough about my own strength to see me through most anything. /m, two weeks ago I sat with a friend, a good friend, through her death from cancer. With her family there, too. I was with her at the end, alone, and I talked her through it, invited her to let go. You know what that's like, but I didn't. Yet I was able to do it. And I was able to do it without fear. Because of 8 years of learning how to be whole, and how to stay centered.
What you write about - forgetting meds, taking them twice, forgetting to test your blood sugar - what do you need to do to get this under control?
Are you walking, exercising, doing the things that help? You're obviously no dummy, you know what you need to do - is there anyone you can ask for help? If there is, ask for help. Go walking at the mall.
Forgive me if I'm telling you things you already know and that bugs you. Your pain just grabs me, and I want to help.
Many hugs to you /m. You've given me a lot to think about.
ShortE
poster:Shortelise
thread:706432
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061123/msgs/708386.html