Posted by 10derHeart on November 25, 2005, at 16:08:02
In reply to Re: Just for now.... » 10derHeart, posted by orchid on November 16, 2005, at 2:03:26
Thanks so much for the big hug. I sure needed as many as I could get that day!
> It is always better if therapists stick to firm and unchanged boundaries from the beginning to the end. This kind of arbitrary chnages is very hard on the patients.
You know, I used to think I agreed with that, but in practice I'm not sure that's possible in therapy or other relationships. In fact, firm and unchanging boundaries might require unchanging thoughts, feelings, circumstances, etc. from the people involved, and that's never going to happen. Particularly in this case, if in all these years no one's ever wanted to use email between sessions, I suppose he was trying it and leaning very much toward giving me anything *reasonable* I wanted to strengthen our work together.
I suppose....he just couldn't see it coming that it wouldn't always BE reasonable for him, having no experience to fall back on. (yes, I'm defending him :-) )
But, oh yes, I'm stil angry and resentful. Wishing he could have known, warned me, something. But that may not be fair when you think it through. Because it wasn't an arbitrary change, listening to the great amount of thought he gave it before sayng anything.
I appreciate your posting to me, Orchid.
poster:10derHeart
thread:579218
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051118/msgs/582139.html