Posted by B2chica on May 6, 2005, at 12:05:03
In reply to Re: not well.... » B2chica, posted by happyflower on May 6, 2005, at 11:03:41
>>Are you going to talk to him about your hidden memories?
-i told him there's more and i set next week for it but...>>Have you been able to process any of it yet?
-absolutely not....i just don't think i can do any of this.
i can't
i don't want to.
why me. -d@mn, now i sound whiny and small. h@ll why not me
isn't it bad enough that it's true, do i have to keep reliving it inside? i had so many terrible flashes yesterday. what i hate is it's SO real, i feel 'things'-i really feel it happening again, i Literally feel it there, God i want it to stop. i feel it happening again and again.
i feel i brought it all on. if i didn't want it to happen, i would have stopped it. i would have had strenght then. i didn't then, i don't now.
i just want to disappear.
i want to ask for strength but i don't even want it. i don't want help. i want to be gone. when i disappear so will all my stench.
.....i'm sorry, i just hurt so much inside i can't even stand it, it's like there isn't even room for me anymore, it's all pain.if i don't sleep all day tomorrow, i'll try to write.
i can only think 1 day at a time, heck 1 hour at a time. just can't function.i love you all.
thnak u
poster:B2chica
thread:494086
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/494535.html