Posted by crazymaisie on April 21, 2005, at 23:20:25
ok. my t holds me. i just want to get a feel for how this seems to the outside viewer, people who understand therapy, mind. she holds me for long periods during sessions. i usually lie down with my head on her lap and she strokes my hair. i enjoy it alot, but sometimes it can be a bit confusing. the intensity is too much at times. there's nothing sexual in it, although i will admit to some sexual feelings for her. i'm willing to label these feelings transference and they don't bother me too much. i don't ever want to act on them and i don't ever believe she would be inappropriate or unethical with me in that way. the feelings can be a little confusing because i identify myself as straight and am happily married and all. but i see them as an extension of an intimate relationship, both emotionally and physically, it's just important to maintain the boundaries when it comes to actions.
in any case, i just want to know if anyone else does this with their t. it brings up alot of emotions which are difficult to name and discuss (possibly pre-verbal?) it feels good, almost addictive. i do think it stops us from talking about other things at times, though, and i wonder if i use it a little as a block to working through other things. our relationship has been complicated, rocky at times, veering from strong maternal transference to a more equal working alliance, to me caretaking, to whatever we're at now. right now it feels pretty stable and good and doesn't have the intensity it once had. (although intensity will sometimes flare up from time to time when a nerve is hit)
so what do you all think? is this going to end in tears? thanks in advance
maisie
poster:crazymaisie
thread:487743
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050420/msgs/487743.html