Posted by Dinah on April 18, 2005, at 19:38:01
In reply to Re: Anybody afraid of growing up? Trigger » Dinah, posted by pinkeye on April 18, 2005, at 18:40:46
Your husband did maintain control when faced with your leaving him if he didn't. Doesn't that mean he values you?
I dunno. I'm no prize by any means. I was once pretty enough, I guess - in a way I never appreciated at the time. But I had enough problems that I was never a prize, matrimonially or datewise. So I tend to think that if nice guys liked me, you don't have to be all that wonderful.
My very beautiful cousin once asked me how "all" the guys I dated were so nice. She must have met "all" of them, because there weren't all that many. :) She was very beautiful, but she had dated some guys who were not so nice to her.
My answer to her at the time seemed lame, but the more I look back on it, the more profound it seems. I looked at her in surprise and said that I wouldn't date anyone who wasn't nice.
Mind you, I was also one of the most cautious daters around. I didn't date anyone I didn't already know, or who didn't know someone I knew and trusted. Which led to dates with very few surprises.
But it also wasn't that important to me to be with someone, and I knew my own worth enough to make sure that anyone I was with would respect me at least as much as I respected myself.
So how did I end up with a man who considers me his second child? I don't know how that changed, or where, so that he no longer considered me worthy of the respect I *still* think I deserve. No matter what he thinks I have or haven't done.
poster:Dinah
thread:484356
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050409/msgs/486174.html