Posted by messadivoce on April 12, 2005, at 14:01:27
In reply to Re: I'm regressing :-( » messadivoce, posted by pinkeye on April 12, 2005, at 13:37:55
You are absolutely, 100% right about this echoing back to my dad. My current T and I were discussing this around the time she had to leave my University.
My dad hurt me in a lot of ways...if you were to ask him about it today, he would say that the way he was with me was absolutely 100% what was called for because I was "difficult". He and I have not really discussed my childhood because I'm not really interested in hearing about how he was "right" and my memories aren't accurate or whatever.
I don't think my dad feels guilty for how much he hurt me. I don't think my T feels guilty for how much he hurt me, either. I have been angry at my dad for years, and now I'm transferring that anger onto my ex-T.
It's probably easier for me to feel anger at a man who is not readily available, than for my dad who is close by. I miss being in therapy so much!! Even with my current T, who is kind of sporadic about writing me back. Some part of me wants to find another provider and start over (AGAIN) and part of me wants to never, ever be in therapy again, because it just hurts way too much.
poster:messadivoce
thread:483154
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050409/msgs/483367.html